The Talk
by Jenn Nixon
8:30am
I arrived at work humming to myself.
I was in a good mood. I sat down at my desk with my coffee in hand and started
my daily routine. I smiled as I looked at the picture of me and Ryan. We look
good together, real good. The picture was from our second date. My hair was
longer then, his was shorter. He had a funny look on his face, and my eyes were
crossed. We’re silly sometimes, but that’s the way I like it.
I blew a kiss to him and got back to work on the weekly payroll.
11:00am
“Meg,
we need to talk,” Ryan said as the daggers flew through the phone line and into
my heart.
“Um,
okay,” I mumbled. “What do you want to talk about?” It was a simple question. At least I thought it was. They say that the simplest questions have the
most complicated answers, so as soon as I opened my mouth I regretted it.
“Not
now, I’ll call you when you get home from work.” He spoke in a calm steady
voice.
Great, just friggen great. He picks the one day I’m walking home to tell
me something. “My car is in the shop, so I’m walking home tonight. Call me around 6:30.” I grabbed the nearest
writing utensil and began to chew it. Yummy, paper mate pens are the best.
“All
right, I’ll call you 6:30 your time.” His voice was barely loud enough to be heard.
“How’s
the weather in
“I’ll
talk to you tonight,” he said quickly.
“Ok.”
Was the only thing I could muster. As I hung up the phone, I smacked myself in
the head. Idiot!
I’m so articulate sometimes…yeah right. Before I knew it, my forehead was
resting not so comfortably on my computer keyboard. Then I heard it, the voice.
Ugh, that annoying squeaky, high-pitched voice.
“Whatsa matta?”
She poked her bleach blond head inside my cubicle.
“Go
away, Samantha.” I waved her off with my hand.
“Come
on! What happened? Did he dump you?” She moved closer rolling in
slowly.
I
picked my head up, swiveled in the chair and within a second, I was inches from
her face. Her eyes widened, and I saw the fear set in. I began to laugh. “Chicken
shit. Like I would
ever hurt you. You’re a nut, and
no he didn’t dump me, but ‘we need to talk.’“ I made the quotation marks with
my fingers.
“Oh,
the talk speech,” Sam replied. “What do you think he wants to talk about?”
“I
don’t know, but now thanks to him, it’s all I will be thinking about all day!”
12:30pm
Lunch
sucks. Why do we bother going to lunch anyway? It fills us with false hopes. It gives us a whole thirty minutes of freedom
from our eight-hour prison sentence. So,
what do I do with this gift of thirty free minutes? I sulk in the cafeteria stressing about this
talk my boyfriend wants to have. Sam
tried to keep me company; it just didn’t work.
I snapped at her several times and told her the Jell-O she made tasted
like crap. She got up and walked away leaving me all alone. Now I feel bad, but I’ve
got more important things to worry about.
He’s probably going to dump me. I mean who would blame him right. I’m moody and cranky. I’m lazy. I’m not creative or motivated. Oh, and
I am a horrible cook. Why would he want to keep seeing me? I threw away my half-eaten
sandwich and headed back to my desk. As
I turned the corner, I saw the gossip flock. Just what I
needed—for them to find out. Ugh. I lifted my head and acted as if nothing
happened. I slowly walked past the
gaggle of women (and the one token gay man) and smiled politely.
“So,
I hear your man ran off with some young girl.” One of the clique-etts snorted.
“No,
no I heard that he just went off to
“Oh
grow up!” I barked. What is this, high school? I glared at the group, and I
swear if I were Superman my gaze would have killed
them in an instant. The laughter continued as I walked away, I paid no
attention. I got back to my little hole and flopped onto my chair. That’s
it! I am never going to lunch again.
“Rough lunch?”
Squeaky had returned. “You look beat.”
She
was being so nice. All I kept thinking
was how I made fun of her Jell-O. “I’m sorry for being such a bitch
before. You know PMS and all.”
“It’s
okay, I know you are stressed.” She smiled.
“Everyone
thinks I got dumped,” I sighed.
“Yeah,
I know. Someone over heard us talking I
think. I mean, you know I didn’t say anything.” She offered.
“I
know.” And I did. She sat in front of me
and we went to lunch together, so I knew. “Who cares? This place is like one big rumor feast
anyway. What’s one more to add to the pile?” I shrugged; there was after all
nothing I could do about it.
1:45pm
God
is this day ever going to end??
1:55pm
Ugh!
2:15pm
That’s
it I’m not looking at the time anymore until Sam tells me it’s time to leave.
2:30pm
Stupid friggen
watch. There!! How do you like it in the trash, you
piece of....
3:00pm
I
just had the most horrible thought. What if he tells me he’s sick? Maybe he’s dying? He
wants me to take care of him until he dies. No, no, what am I thinking? That is
retarded; he would want family to do something like that, not his new
girlfriend.
Maybe he wants space. Oh no! That’s probably
it. He wants his space. He still wants to see me and hang out, but he
doesn’t want the strings. He wants to go back to being one of the beer
guzzling, back seat couch quarterback football loving guys.
“You
met Ryan. What do you think about him?”
I rolled up to Sam’s desk.
“Do
you really want my opinion?” Squeaky Sam asked.
“Sure.”
“He
seems really nice Megan, but I think he’s afraid of something,” she answered.
“What
do you mean?” I asked.
“Just
a vibe I get from him. I think maybe he’s
afraid of marriage or getting old or something. I don’t
know. But other than that he seems terrific.” She smiled sweetly.
I
rolled back to my computer and stared blankly at the screen. That’s probably it. He’s afraid of commitment. He doesn’t want to get serious with me. Sam
poked her head back into my cube and tapped on my desk.
“You
really should stop worrying, I’m sure it’s nothing. He probably wants to take you on vacation or
something. Why don’t you stop thinking
about it until you talk to him, okay?” She was trying to be helpful.
“You’re
right. Thanks.” I smiled, and she disappeared.
4:15pm
I
must be stuck in a time warp. It doesn’t
take this long to get to five o’clock. I
have to be in some horrible parallel dimension where every hour feels like
three. Why is it the days I have so much
work to do I have no time, and the days I have no work seems like an
eternity? Maybe I should call him. No...I can’t I don’t
want to seem pushy or desperate, both of which I am at the
moment. No...I’m
just going to get back to work.
4:35pm
At least I didn’t break my watch. I strapped it back onto my wrist after
rescuing it from the trash bin, before cleaning people decided to take it.
4:45pm
Sam was just yelled at by the supervisor for
not calling back a prospective client quick enough. Sometimes I wonder about
this place. Oh ah the phone!!
“Hello?”
I answered in my high-pitched customer service voice.
“Hi honey.”
“Oh hi, mom.” Yeah I
was disappointed. I didn’t want to talk to my mother.
“Blah, blah” she said.
“Um Huh.” I answered.
“Blah blah, blah blah,
blah.” She continued.
“Yeah, oh really.” And this continued for a good five
minutes.
“So
how is that boyfriend um...of yours?” She asked.
“Ryan,” I reminded her, “He’s good. In
“I
think that boy works too much...blah, blah” Another five minutes...well at
least she was helping me pass the time. I finally got her off the phone by
promising I would go to lunch with her on the weekend. A small sacrifice to make
on a day like today.
4:55pm
Five more minutes. Thank goodness. Closes the draws, put
away the pens, it’s almost time for the day to end. Yeah I know, I’m corny but
I want to get out of here.
4:57pm
Woo Hoo! Three minutes and counting.
4:59pm
If
I run home, I can make it in twenty minutes, I’ll be dead, but I will be home
by 5:30!
5:00pm
Yipee.
“Well,
good luck Meg, with Ryan I mean. Ha ha, oh I never
noticed that before! Meg and Ryan...Meg Ryan!” Sam
continued laughing as she disappeared around the corner. I grabbed my Louie V (yes, it’s real, but I
didn’t buy it legit—sue me) and followed her.
“Megan.”
Damn it, the big boss.
“Yeah?” I
asked.
“Can
you do me a small favor before you clock out?” she asked.
“Um,”
I thought quickly, but couldn’t come up with a good enough excuse, “sure Kelly
what do you need?”
“I
need 100 copies of this letter, I already have the other copier working, and I
want to get out of here early too.” She smiled. Kelly was a good boss, sure I
could help it would take five minutes.
“No
problem,” I answered. “Be right back.”
5:15pm
“What
happened?” Kelly asked as I entered her office covered in toner.
“The
toner exploded when I tried to put it in the copier. But I finally got the
copies made.” I placed the pages on her desk.
I took much care to making sure they didn’t have any toner on them. She thanked me, and I headed for the
bathroom.
5:25pm
Finally, I hit the streets. Why couldn’t this be
5:35pm
No way, this isn’t going to work. I saw a little shop up the street and made my
way to it. After telling the clerk I was
in a real hurry, I bought a cute little pair of Keds.
I would definitely make better time now. Why was I rushing though? Why don’t I
have a cell phone? Everyone has a cell phone. I probably won’t like what he’s
going to tell me anyway. He’ll say I’m too hypersensitive, and he thinks we
should just be friends. Or he’ll give me the ‘it’s me not you’ speech. I was lost in
my thoughts walking along, it really was a nice day for a walk, then....Shit! I stepped
in shit!
5:51pm
After finding a nice patch of grass to clean
my shoes on, I returned to my pathetic train of thought. I really don’t want
him to dump me. Maybe I should do it first. Save myself the heartache. That’s what I should do, I’ll dump him. I’ll march right up to my apartment and
answer that phone and before he can say a word, I will....
“Excuse
me Miss.” I heard a voice behind me.
“Yes?”
I said, as I did my ‘don’t hate me because I am beautiful’ model turn, brunette
curls bouncing over my shoulder.
“I think you have a hole in your purse.” A
short older woman smiled. I looked back
and saw the contents of my shoulder bag stretching back about 30 feet. I wanted
to scream! I wanted to stomp my feet and jump up and down like a little kid. I
was furious.
“Oh
thank you,” I forced my most sincere, fake smile. I trekked back picking up my things stomping
my feet and cursing under my breath the whole way.
5:59pm
I’m almost half way there. Oh, there’s an Ice Cream shop up there. I
think I’ll stop in.
6:05pm
Chocolate Chip Mint.
Only one scoop, on a sugar cone of course, what could be better. Well, if my boyfriend told me what he wanted
to talk about earlier, I guess that would be better. Now I have to suffer for
another half an hour. Ugh! It really is a nice day today. Maybe I should walk more often, minus the ice
cream of course.
I
walk up to an intersection and wait for the light to change. As I am getting ready to cross, this huge
truck flies past me running into a puddle.
Yep you guessed it, all over my new Keds, of course they were
white, like you should ask. I shake the
excess water from my shoes, again cursing under my breath. I feel a hand on my shoulder.
“Sucks about your shoes.” A warm voice with a southern
accent said.
I looked over to see the most gorgeous guy in
the world. I mean this guy was F-I-N-E!
He was about 6’1 light brown hair and green eyes. He was built, but not bulky
and he had an amazing smile. I smiled back at him and tossed my hair over my
shoulder in true girlie fashion.
“Yeah,
I just bought them too.” I flirted, “I’ll have to wash them when I get home.”
“You
live around here?” He asked trying not to sound like he was picking me up.
“Yes,
not to far from here,” I answered sweetly. I figured I might as well be nice,
if Ryan dumps me, maybe I can hook up with this hunk.
“I
live back that way. Nice little town
here,” he said. “A lot different from where I grew up.”
“And
where might that be,” I asked.
“
“I
know where that is, very nice town. Drove through it once.” I shut up quickly noticing my
stupidity was getting away from me.
“Well,
I normally don’t do this, but I just think you are very purty
and I would like to give you my number.”
He handed me a piece of paper with scribble on it. I looked down at it and looked back up and he
started to walk away.
“Wait,”
I called to him, “You forgot to write your name.”
He
turned and smiled. “
6:15pm
That
was so weird. I’ve lived in this shit
hole town my entire life, and not once have I ever gotten
picked up on the street. And the one time that I do, he’s not even from around
here. He was a hottie!
He called me purty. Not pretty, purty,
how adorable is that? Man, if Ryan does dump me, I’ll be calling
6:23pm
I
start running; I have about 6 blocks to go.
I should make it.
6:25pm
I should have run from the beginning, I would
have been home already.
6:27pm
One more block, can’t stop now.
6:28pm
Made it!
With two whole minutes to spare...then suddenly I remember, Ryan sets his watch five minutes fast! OH SHIT! I bolted up the stairs and got to my door in
seconds. I dumped my entire purse on the
ground and searched for my keys, and then I heard it. The phone was ringing.
“NO!!!!!!!!” I threw
stuff left and right and finally found my keys. Rinnnnnnnngggggggg. Now I have to find the right one, nope not
this one, nope, got it! I put the key in
and open the door, Rinnnnnnnnnngggggggggg. “Don’t
hang up!” I shouted. I ran through the living room and jumped over my coffee
table. Rinnnnnnnggggggggg. I ran into the kitchen and of course
I didn’t think anything of the little carpet on the floor. So as I slid across
the linoleum at light speeds, I tried to brace myself for the impact. Bang! Right into the sink. Rinnnnnnnnnggggggggggg,
I rushed back and I reached for the receiver I took a deep breath trying to
stop from hyperventilating and answered the phone.
“Hello,”
I said in my most sultry soft voice.
“Hi,
it’s me.” His voice sent a shock through the phone. Please don’t let him dump me, please don’t let him dump me. “What took you so long to
get to the phone?”
Thinking
a little quickly, “I was in the bathroom,” Duh stupid! I didn’t know what else
to say, I didn’t want to seem like I wanted desperate to know what he wanted to
talk about, but I did. “So, you wanted to talk?” I asked calmly as I placed a
wash cloth over my bleeding knee.
“Yeah,
um well.” Here it comes, he’s going to say it, He’s
going to dump me. “I’ve been thinking a lot about us recently, and being here
alone have made me feel a little different. I’m not sure, well,
um…..I just wanted to say...” Fine just spit it out...Dump Me! Whatever! Get it
over with so I can get on with my pathetic miserable life....
“Yes?”
I pushed a little. I have no patience,
just dump me already, that’s what you want right??
“I
just wanted to tell you that...Um......Well….I miss
you and I love you, Meg!”
Silence. He…loves me? Neither of us spoke for a few seconds,
then the heavens opened and the bright sun shined down from the clouds. I heard
angels singing in the distance, I swear I did. Either that or Mr. Henderson
downstairs was playing his church music again. My knees grew week and I fell to
the ground.
“Meg?”
He called out. “You still there?”
“Yeah,
I’m here...I’m...” Shocked, speechless, and stunned. I
feel like an idiot. All day, he put me through hell, all day to tell me that he
loves me? Like he couldn’t tell me this while I was at
work. Men are so stupid. I should just hang up on him. Where is his brain? I felt the tears run down my cheek and
realized how incredibly happy I was. It was the one thing I
didn’t think about all day. Oh well
© Jenn Nixon 2006